Pants Bulge Triggers Arrest

From The Smoking Gun:
The Florida woman was departing a 7-Eleven last night when a store clerk noticed a suspicious bulge in the front of the 20-year-old's pants. Concerned that Gariepy may have been shoplifting, convenience store employees contacted a cop, who approached Gariepy in the parking lot. Though she initially denied swiping anything, Gariepy was confronted with evidence spotted inside her vehicle: an empty wrapper for a $1.19 Big Mama pickled sausage. According to a Hernando County Sheriff's Office report, the lump that was "clearly visible inside [Gariepy's] pants" was a 2.4 ounce pork product that she apparently consumed post-theft. Gariepy, already on probation, was charged with shoplifting and possession of drug paraphernalia (a search of her Plymouth Caravan turned up a pipe with methamphetamine residue).