Major, who's been involved in several biting incidents since arriving at the White House has spent a lot of time in Delaware of late. But further investigation has suggested that Major's victims have been mostly people of color, leading to charges of racism. The canine has also allegedly been heard to growl vaguely discernible racial epitaphs and is said to have come from a privileged background.
Some have also protested Major's name, identifying it as authoritarian and needlessly intimidating. Accordingly, Major (who will probably assume a new, kinder, gentler name) is said to be slated for intensive re-education at an undisclosed maximum security facility in the northern hinterlands near the Canadian border. The facility which has gained the moniker "Last Chance Lookout" follows a Prussian regimen of relentless indoctrination intended to instill rigid obedience. The aptly-named "Last Chance" facility leaves no room for failure. Dogs that do not pass their rigorous final re-education test -- well, let's just say the end for them is not pretty, OK?
For its part the White House is said to be sworn to secrecy about Major's fate. Officially, they know nothing.
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