Which is a shame because it's such a lovely season.
Well, anyway here's our 2018 edition of ten summer outrages we can do without:
1) Showing off your tattoos. Hey, if you want to deface your body, that's your business. But we'd rather not see it. So, keep it covered. OK?
2) Short-short-short shorts that show off your butt cheeks. You know what we mean, gals - especially pre-teens and/or those of you with ample booty. Cover it!
3) Huge, erectable beach pavilions that take up massive space, house whole groups of loud vulgarians and destroy what might otherwise be a nice day at the beach for anyone nearby.
4) Bikinis in plus sizes -- yes, ones that women actually dare to wear. Frightening! OMG! Equally bad: Women over a certain age who wear two-piece bathing suits.
5) Mega-sized coolers and assorted paraphernalia that have to be rolled to the beach on industrial strength wheels. These simply contribute to obstreperous beach encampments that are not welcome.
6) Back-to-School sales and Halloween junk on display long before its time for these offerings. Talk about rushing the season!
7) Little girls in bikinis. And then you wonder why they're having sex at 12 or 13?
8) Multitudes of police and security vehicles on the beach. We feel like saying "Hey, guess what? Nothing's happened since you last whizzed by. The beach is still quiet. The ocean is still secure."
9) Beer bellies. Guys, we can't imagine why in hell you would be proud of such a thing nor why you would attempt to show it off. Cover it up! And, BTW: We don't wanna see your butt crack either.
10) Tank tops and other armless garb. Hey, they're not even in style anymore. Plus, more often than not both men and women who wear them really don't have much to show off. Ditch them!
And here are a couple more -- just for good measure: Flip flops on city streets and body hair in the wrong places. Under arms or on legs for women. On the back, shoulders and upper arms for men. Ugh!
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