Tuesday, July 6, 2021

And Now, The Ten Grotesque Sides Of Summer

Summer seems to bring out the worst in people. Which is a shame because it's such a lovely season. 
Well, anyway here are ten summer scenes we've seen far, far too much of:

1) Tattoos. We're seeing way, way too many tattoos. If you want to deface your body, that's your business. But we'd rather not have to look at it. So, keep it covered. OK?

2) Bikinis in plus sizes -- yes, ones that women actually dare to wear. If you have a belly, bag the bikini! Too much flesh.

3) Sex on the beach. Unless there's no one else on the beach, anywhere, don't do it! Get a room.

4) Back-to-School sales in July. Talk about rushing the season! And apparently some people are actually buying some of this stuff. What the hell's this all about?

5) Tank tops. Hey, they never really were very stylish. Plus, more often than not men and women who wear them really don't have much to show off. Ditch them!

6) Taking your cooler with you everywhere -- especially into a hotel. C'mon, you don't really wanna lug that cooler through the lobby and into a hotel room, do you? Get real!

7) Ass cheeks hanging out of short shorts. Need we say more?

8) Cargo shorts. They went out of style so long ago it's hard to imagine anyone still owning a pair. And yet, there they are!

9) Thongs. Our advice: save them for the Riviera.

10) Taking everything to the beach. Do you really need that huge rolling cart with all that stuff and that pavilion encampment at the beach? By the time you unpack and set everything up it's time to decamp. Simplify!

The bottom line is this: Don't trash summer. 

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