Mama Mia, Whatamess!

I knew nothing about Mamma Mia before I went to see the film of the musical which stars Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan.

I deliberately avoided the show for this reason: I don't do jukebox musicals. I don't regard jukebox musicals as legitimate Broadway musicals. Jukebox shows are contrived musicals built around previously created pop songs that have already become hits. They do not contain original music that is written for and meant to enhance the story of a legitimate, integrated musical.

Anyway, Streep and Brosnan are two favorites of mine and I heard good things about the movie so I went to see it.

True, I should have consulted my favorite movie review site: Rottentomatoes.com. Had I done that I would have seen that Mamma Mia barely broke 50% on the Rotten Tomatoes critic meter. That means that nearly half the many critics who post on the site hated the movie.

Mamma Mia is a mess. It's hopelessly contrived. It's loud. It's inane. Its cardboard characters are endlessly giddy. It's painful to watch.

Here's what Christian Toto said in the Washington Times: Mamma Mia! is a sloppy, overwrought mess of a musical. But at least Toto enjoyed the Abba songs. I hated them. They're shrill and dumb.

Here's what Roger Ebert said in the Chicago Tribune: There are the wall-to-wall songs by ABBA, if you like that sort of thing. I don't, not much.

And here's what Ann Hornaday said in the Washington Post: Mamma Mia! presents itself as a piece of clever counter-programming to this summer's surfeit of pounding, effects-driven comic-book movies. But filmgoers eager to sample its sunny, synth-pop pleasures are likely to feel just as bludgeoned.

My final word: Avoid this show at all costs. Don't see it live. Don't see the movie. Don't rent it or buy the DVD. Stay away - far, far away.