Remembering Frank Annibale, 1939 - 2014

How easily fooled we are.
When things are going well, it's easy to believe that our lives are charmed. It's easy to think things will always be this way -- that it'll be smooth sailing indefinitely. And this is especially so when we're blessed with a loving family and numerous caring and fun-loving friends.
We start to think we're living in a sort of deliriously happy, toe-tapping, high-stepping Broadway musical -- a giddy world where nothing ever goes wrong:

Blue skies

Smiling at me

Nothing but blue skies

Do I see

Bluebirds

Singing a song

Nothing but bluebirds

All day long

Never saw the sun shining so bright

Never saw things going so right.

Just then, when everything seems damned near perfect, that's when we forget how fragile life is. 

We forget that in a moment, everything can change. 

We forget the lyrics that Kander and Ebb so cleverly crafted for that catchy number from Chicago:

But nothing stays . . . .

It's gonna change, you know.

For us, it all changed on Friday, June 27 when my brother-in-law Frank Annibale passed away. "Brother-in-law" was an inappropriate term for Frank - a term that in no way described him and his role in our lives.
Frank was a devoted son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, uncle, nephew, cousin and – as was so incredibly obvious at his funeral – friend to many.
And his wife, Lenora and he were [and remain] that all-too-rare magical couple – loving partners for 53 years who actually knew each other for nearly 60 years and who were simpatico together.
And I say they remain a couple because the fiercely loyal Lenora embraces Frank in her heart, right now -- and always will. So they are still together.
And of course their love lives on through their daughter, Danielle; their son-in-law, Shawn and their wonderful grandchildren, Nick and Alexandra.

Frank was very special. He lived by a simple rule that could be summarized by an old Italian saying: Fare del bene e dimentica. Do good and forget it.

Frank gave of himself freely to others with no thought of any kind of return whatsoever. And he rarely if ever had an unkind word for or about anyone. He was a gentle, helpful, easy-going man.

Which makes it even sadder that was taken from us so swiftly and so soon.

Here's what Adam Cirucci said about his Uncle Frank as he memorialized him last week:

Uncle Frank and Aunt Lenora never had a son. Maybe that was a good thing because I don’t know how anyone could compete with Danielle.
But I always thought of Uncle Frank as a father. He was like my second dad – one who knew how to use power towels, knew about cars, who loved to watch professional sports.
Uncle Frank believed in hard work. And he would do anything for his friends, his family and Aunt Lenora. How many times did I see him crouched under a cabinet, or a hood, or perched on a ladder, covered with plaster or sawdust or motor oil, sweat dripping from his brow, a pencil behind his ear? Wallpapering, and sanding and varnishing, doing yard work, doing electric. He poured his heart into these projects. He is attention to detail was impeccable.
We all have these lists of all the things Frank Annibale did for us.
And as hard he worked; he also knew how to have a good time. He had a great group of friends. I know you are all here. I see you. He always enjoyed going out with you, traveling, playing golf, going to games, going down the shore. Him and my aunt love you guys.  He always told stories of your adventures and misadventures. He got a kick out of being a part of your lives.
Uncle Frank had the heart of a coach. He loved helping people bring out the best in themselves. Where do you think Danielle and Shawn get it from? Shawn, he thought of you as a son and he loved watching you grow into a father.  Nick, Alex he loved your competitive spirit. You meant everything to him. And everything he did for you came from his heart.
Uncle Frank knew life wasn’t easy. But he never let it get to him. He knew you had to be tough, but you couldn’t be cold. He had a soft side, a sweet side.  He loved animals – he loved take care of Jammer and Sammy. I remember he had these bird feeders in his backyard and he . He had a soft spot for romantic comedies. Him and Aunt Lenora literally burned through like three VHS tapes of “Pretty Woman.”
Aunt Lenora: you were the light of his life. Danielle: you made his life.
We all have these lists of all the things Frank Annibale did for us.  All the things he taught us:
Work hard,
Enjoy yourself,
Love your friends
Be generous and patient,
Put yourself into everything you do
And always keep your family close to your heart
Uncle Frank approached life like one big “Do It Yourself Project. So, take a moment and look around. He did an amazing job.