Tuesday, November 30, 2010

These Garish Holiday Displays Really Gall Me

They’re big. They’re everywhere. They’re full of hot air.
And now they're back for another go round.
No, I’m not talking about all the officious liberal yappers on MSNBC.
I’m talking about those garish Christmas inflatables that have popped up everywhere you turn. These bloated intrusions on our landscape include the ubiquitous Santa, his elves, reindeer, penguins, and polar bears. 
Ranging in size from about four feet to more than 20 feet tall they also depict cartoon characters such as Mickey Mouse, Snoopy, and Elmo. And now the newest inflatable rage seems to be snow globes and revolving carousels.
I hate these gassy excuses for Christmas cheer. I hate them during the day when they go flat like big ugly pancakes on lawns and porches all over the place. 
And I hate them even more at night when they blow, glow and gloat with a trashy confidence that’s positively scary.Unless they're a small part of a much larger and more elaborate display, they just don't work.
Yeah, people are making major bucks on these hideous expressions of holiday excess and capitalism is good. 
And sure, you've got a right to put pretty much anything you want on your own property.
But these ubiquitous blowups have got to go.

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