Oh, The Ravages Of The Government Shutdown

Awwww . . . . The congressional barber shop and shoeshine stand inside the Capitol are closed so members of Congress will have to let their beautiful locks grow a bit longer and their shoes become more scuffed (like the rest of us, I suppose). 

Also, the elevator operators* (Remember them?) are not on the job so members of Congress will actually have to push buttons to activate their elevators. 

If this isn't a calamity, we don't know what is!

*For those under the age of 60 (or maybe even 65) once upon a time elevators were operated by real, live people called "elevator operators." Yes, real people stayed in the elevator and operated it much as you would drive a car. They used a small wheel with a lever that usually moved right for the elevator to go up and left for it to come down, at varying speeds. And they had to slow down the elevator and break it at each floor that it stopped at making sure that the floor of the elevator was level with the floor it was stopping at. These elevator operators were quite spiffy and often wore uniforms. How do we know all this? Don't ask!