They're Baaack!

They’re big. They’re everywhere. They’re full of hot air. And they're back.
No, I’m not talking about all those bloviating presidential candidates.
I’m talking about those garish Christmas inflatables that pop up everywhere this time of year. These bloated intrusions on our landscape include the ubiquitous Santa, his elves, reindeer, penguins, and polar bears. Ranging in size from about four feet to more than 20 feet tall they also depict cartoon characters such as Mickey Mouse, Snoopy, and Elmo. And now the newest inflatable rage seems to be snow globes and revolving carousels.
I hate these gassy excuses for Christmas cheer. I hate them during the day when they go flat like big ugly pancakes on lawns and porches all over the place. And I hate them even more at night when they blow, glow and gloat with a trashy confidence that’s positively scary. And that’s just one part of Christmas that I’ve come to hate. I'll list more here as the days grow closer to Christmas.