Saturday, July 25, 2015
2015 Edition: 10 Summer Trends We Hate!
Which is a shame because it's such a lovely season.
Well, anyway here's our 2015 edition of ten summer trends we hate:
1) Showing off your tattoos. Hey, if you want to deface your body, that's your business. But we'd rather not see it. So, keep it covered. OK?
2) Short-short-short shorts that show off your butt cheeks. You know what we mean, gals - especially pre-teens and/or those of you with ample booty. Cover it!
3) Guys' do-rags. These damned things seem to be making a comeback. If you're losing (or have lost) your hair, wear a cap.
4) Bikinis in plus sizes -- yes, ones that women actually dare to wear. Frightening! OMG! Equally bad: Women over a certain age who wear two-piece bathing suits.
5) Guys wearing gangsta-bloomers instead of bathing trunks. You know what we're talking about: NBA-style, shiny, to-the-calf, saggy shorts. Yeah, that's a gangsta-bloomer! BTW: All guys' shorts at knee-length or longer are passé. The new line is mid-thigh to just above the knee.
6) Back-to-School sales in July. Talk about rushing the season! What the hell's this all about?
7) Little girls in bikinis. And then you wonder why they're having sex at 12 or 13?
8) Multitudes of police and security vehicles on the beach. We feel like saying "Hey, guess what? Nothing's happened since you last whizzed by. The beach is still quiet. The ocean is still secure."
9) Beer bellies. Guys, we can't imagine why in hell you would be proud of such a thing nor why you would attempt to show it off. Cover it up! And, BTW: We don't wanna see your butt crack either.
10) Tank tops and other armless garb. Hey, they're not even in style anymore. Plus, more often than not both men and women who wear them really don't have much to show off. Ditch them!
And here's one more -- just for good measure: Body hair in the wrong places. Under arms or on legs for women. On the back, shoulders and upper arms for men. Ugh!