Our "people to watch" list is fun and we know that lots of you look forward to it every year. But the one list that always stirs up the most interest is this one -- the "people who should get lost" list.
Some of these people are merely irritating, some have simply been in our faces way too much this year, some are successful but nonetheless boring, some are famous but nonetheless dumb and some are dangerous villains. To all of 'em we say: "Go away! Get the hell outta here!"
Without further ado, here they are in no particular order:
Cynthia Erivo and Arianna Grande: Are the two of you the strangest looking pair, or what? And how many remakes, sequels, prequels and reimagined versions of The Wizard of Oz can the world endure? Please go away -- and take the Wizard with you!
Ilhan Omar: Did you marry your brother, or didn't you? And when do you plan to self-deport?
Tucker Carlson: We're not quite sure exactly where you went off the rails. But, more and more, it does seem appropriate that Tucker rhymes with - - - - - -.
Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez: You're living proof of what a wise old man once said: "Money doesn't bring taste . . . it merely allows one to enjoy bad taste with louder vulgarity."
Jasmine Crockett: You're just an attention fiend and a loudmouth who's headed in the same direction as Beto O'Rourke and Stacey Abrams . Give it up already!
Jimmy Kimmel: We don't care how long you survive. The crying game is over, Jimmy. You're a ratings nightmare.
Mikie Sherrill: Congratulations, you've made both lists this year. Now, take the oath, look back at us like you're befuddled and repeat one of the greatest final movie lines ever: "What do I do now?"
Labubu: We are desperately hoping (praying even!) that you've had your five minutes of fame and will simply vaporize one fine night when nobody is looking.
Katie Porter: Apparently you think making a fool of yourself qualifies you to be Governor of California. And apparently, you may be right. God help us!
Candace Owens: Even your father-in-law has now found it necessary to put some distance between himself and your utterances. Your views are abhorrent to us. Go away!
Andy Kim and Corey Booker: We officially crown you the joint Drama Queens of the US Senate. Now, off to Broadway where you can play Huck Finn and Jim in Big River.
Amy Schumer: So, you lost a lot of weight. But you're still a potty mouth and you're still unfunny.
All the Kennedys (except RFK Jr.): Is there anything more unpleasant (or dumber or more childish) than a family feud played out in public? Shut up! And leave Bobby alone. He's had more success than all of you combined.
Luigi Mangione: You're no hero. You're a despicable, depraved trust fund brat. The full extent of the law should mercilessly be brought down upon you -- and the sooner, the better.
Whoopi Goldberg: The mere fact that you're still bloviating on TV screens everyday is, at the very least, a sad reflection on the state of the popular culture, or what's left of it. Go home and fold your money!
Harry and Meghan: This time of year, we prefer Harry & David. Any time of year, anybody but the two of you. You're grifters.
Cardinal Blase Cupich and Father James Martin: You're like a pair of hectoring old aunts promoting a form of pop/psych Catholicism that makes a mockery of the Magisterium. Take thee to a cloistered monastery.
Gavin Newsom: The problem is this: You're. Just. Not. Real. You're a blow-dried pol in a tussled age. You're cosmetic. Even your name seems made up. You're fixed as fake.
Steve Bannon: On the other hand, you're the preverbal unmade bed. You're a mess. That might not be so bad if at times you didn't seem downright creepy.
Bill Belichick and Jordan Hudson: There used to be a time when a voluptuous young Sophia Loren could be arm-in-arm with an aging Cary Grant. But he was Cary and she was Sophia and that was 60 years ago. The two of you? Nada!
Rosie O'Donnell: What the hell is it with you? You're an expat now. Tend to your affairs in Ireland, have another Guiness and leave us alone!
Kathy Hochul and Gretchen Whitmer: We don't know which of the two of you is worse. But we do know that neither one of you is very appealing (let alone watchable) and both of you should be gone.
Mark Kelly: Nobody is disparaging your military service. But that gives you no right to use it as a shield against any criticism either -- especially when some of the things you've said and charges you've made are outrageous.
Rosa DeLauro and Maxine Waters: OMG! In the worlds of truly horrifying personas, the two of you hover like Lady Macbeth and the Bride of Frankenstein, with apologies to Shakespeare and Mary Shelley.
Stephen King: And speaking of horror, you're old, you're cranky. you're tiresome and you're wrong. You've become the James Paterson of your genre.
Rihanaa and every other famous person with one name: We're thinking Zendaya, Adele, Eminem, Drake, Usher, Bono, Common, Beck, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Lizzo, Pink, Moby, Ludacris, Sinbad, Sade, Raffi and the whole damn bunch of 'ya. Be gone!
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