Doug Burgum: A self-funded billionaire who nobody knows. Does being Governor of North Dakota qualify you for anything? Did being Governor of Arkansas qualify Bill Clinton? 2.5
Chris Christie: Oh, c'mon. We can't rate Chris Christie. We love the guy and wish he was doing better in the polls. We can't be objective about Christie, but we will tell you this: we would never, ever count him out.
Ron De Santis: So much potential, and yet . . . He should have paid attention to the open letter we wrote him with lots of sound advice. There are still things he can do to turn this around but right now we can't rate him higher than a 5, and that's may even be generous.
Larry Elder: He failed in his bid to become Governor of California so, what's he doin' here? 2
Nikki Haley: We like her. But sometimes we think she simply tries too hard. Anyway, she's yet to really define herself and her campaign. 4
Will Hurd: Well, it's nice that he's from Texas. We like Texans. But other than that, we couldn't tell you much about this guy. 1
Asa Hutchinson: Here we go with a former Arkansas governor again. Is it something in the water in Arkansas or is it just the compelling desire to get the hell out of that state that drives these people. On top of all that, this guy's downright annoying. 2
Perry Johnson: Honestly, we thought his candidacy was some kind of gag -- 'ya know, like Deez Nuts and Pat Paulson (Remember him?) and the Naked Cowboy. But it seems this guy's actually running, sorta. 1
Mike Pence: We've got a framed autographed photo of Mike Pence. We're hoping titwill be valuable one day but we're not holding our breath. Ya can't be Trump's veep and his nemesis at the same time, right Mike? 4
Vivek Ramaswamy: Young, handsome, hugely successful, smart, articulate, largely self-funded. By all accounts, he's an American success story. And, his stock seems to be soaring which means the media will soon start looking for reasons to crush him. But he's remarkably adept and seems authentic. 7
Tim Scott: The most compelling life story of the whole lot. Plus, he's hugely likable, very human, caring, eminently decent and eloquent. Pay attention to this guy. 6
Corey Stapelton: A former Montana Secretary of State. Really? Generously, 1
Francis Suarez: The mayor of Miami. Hey, look: Miami ain't Noo Yawk. In fact it ain't even Chicago or LA. It's saucy, sensuous fun but there's a way more substantial candidate from Florida running. Sorry, 1
Donald Trump: The Big Kahuna. The Elephant in the Room. The Ferocious Phenom. He'll remain a Yooge Presence whether he participates in the debate or not. Smith, Bragg and Willis notwithstanding, right now, for better or worse, it's all about This Guy. It's still in his hands. 8.5
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