Friday, October 9, 2015

Found: Great Places To House Those 'Migrants'!

There's a crisis worldwide.
Hundreds of thousands of migrants are fleeing oppression and they're looking for homes in our country.
Of course, we're not supposed to call them illegals, for that would be politically incorrect. 
So, no matter their obvious legal status (or lack thereof) we have been told that they should be referred to as "migrants."
Okay, let's use that term for now and ask: Where should we send these "migrants" who seek friendly homes in our nation? Here are some suggestions:

Robert Redford's Sundance: Actor, activist and noted liberal Robert Redford owns a huge parcel of land adjacent to and part of his Sundance Resort in Utah. In fact, Redford has reportedly amassed more than 7,000 acres. And surely Redford can afford to welcome these migrants. Since he's supportive of the cause. let's call upon Redford to welcome these dear children. Here's your Big Opportunity, Mr. Compassion.

Part of Streisand's Malubu encampment.

Barbra Streisand's Malibu ranch: Oh, yes - La Streisand has platy of room right by the sea in California where the children should feel right at home. In fact, she's collected houses and an enormous garage on a 24 Malibu acres. Lots of cozy quarters for kiddies. And while the ultra-liberal Barbra has reportedly donated the land and buildings to a conservancy (sounds like a convenient tax move to us) that doesn't make them any less available as they have been emptied of all of Streisand's priceless objects d'art. Plus, this gal from Brooklyn (who also keeps a place in Manhattan) has a nice spread in Beverly Hills that has plenty of free rooms and open space. Here's your chance, Ms. Humanitarian.

Jane Fonda's New Mexico ranch: That great champion of rad/lib causes, Jane Fonda owns the 2,300-acre "Forked Lightning Ranch"  near Pecos, about 25 miles outside Santa Fe. The property's 9,585-square foot adobe home was built in the traditional architectural style of the area. The property's been listed in the past for $19.5 million but to our knowledge there have been no buyers yet. Ms. Fonda can donate the property or she can offer it to the government at cost or she can simply hold onto to it and welcome the kiddies herself. BTW: The property also has a 2,125-square-foot guest house, nicknamed the "Hacienda," with five bedrooms, three bathrooms and a patio. And, there's a 3,409-square-foot, two-bedroom log house on the grounds. Sounds perfect, Jane!

The homes of John Kerry and Teresa Heinz Kerry: Johnny and Terry were sweethearts. And between them, these two noted lefties have managed to amass significant real-estate holdings: An estate and mansion in Fox Chapel, Pennsylvania; a huge ski-getaway vacation home in Ketchum, Idaho; a mansion in Washington's posh Georgetown area and a home on Boston's Beacon Hill. Total value of these homes was estimated to be over $29 million -- and that was ten years ago! In the interest of international harmony, our esteemed Secretary of State should welcome the migrants into any or all of these properties post haste. That'll fix his long face real quick!

The Kennedy Family Compound, Hyannis Port, Mass: The Kennedys (the official Royal Family of American liberalism) are reportedly at odds over the future of the spacious Kennedy family compound in Hyannis. When Sen Edward M. Kennedy (the family's most recent patriarch) passed away he gave his immediate family the rights to the property for their lives and a remainder interest in the property to the Edward M. Kennedy Institute for the United States Senate. Well, that's does seem to be a fancy name for a tax shelter but, so what? Additionally, Ethel Kennedy (the widow of the late Senator Robert Kennedy) owns a house on the sprawling oceanfront compound. All disputes over the future of the property aside, the houses are not occupied most of the year and there's more than enough room for those poor, poor migrants. And, in any event, surely the Kennedy's would want to share, wouldn't they? After all, they've been preaching the liberal gospel for three or four generations and reminding us that "of whom much is given, much is expected in return." Touch football with the kiddies? Sounds super!

Well, there are five cogent suggestions for what to do with the migrants.
But we've just barely scratched the surface.
There are so many bleeding-heart liberals out there with so much land and so much moola and so much sincere commitment to the poor and the oppressed (Think: The Hamptons, Martha's Vineyard, The Upper East Side, Saucilito, etc.) that it would seem there would be no shortage of opulent shelters and willing shelterers for these poor, innocent children -- and plenty of dough to feed 'em as well. 
And yet, none of these seemingly obvious candidates have come forward to volunteer their property for temporary use by those that they say they care about.
We wonder why . . . . hmmmm?

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