We've never been big fans of New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. But for a long time we couldn't quite figure out why.
Now, we finally get it: They're downright innocuous.Here then, in no particular order are the Ten Big Reason why the New Year's "holiday" is dumb, dumb, dumb:
1) There is absolutely no significant historical or religious meaning to the day. Well, none that we can discern, anyway.
2) How many bowl games can you really watch? That is, assuming they're even being held this time around.
3) The day celebrates not the beginning of anything but rather the end -- the end of the joyous holiday season.
4) The Tournament of Roses Parade, the Mummers Parade and other New Year's spectacles are all pretty much the same year-after-year. We LOVE the Mummers but the parade is sooo long it gets tedious after awhile. Of course, we won't have to worry about either tradition this year.
5) You know it's true: nobody keeps New Year's resolutions.
6) Celebrating the passing of time is like celebrating the inexorable march to your own death. OMG! Did we really just say that? OK, but let's not dwell on it.
7) After Christmas, no other holiday on the immediate horizon can compete.
8) By January 1 you're completely stuffed and don't even wanna look at food. You're facing the grueling regimen of a diet.
9) All you have to look forward to are the two bleakest months of the year: January and February; and March ain't much better.
10) It'll take you weeks to get used to writing 2021 and you may still be thinking 2020 (that awful, awful year) even in April.
The bottom line: New Year's Day is just another day on the calendar.
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