Her full name is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta.
But she's really just Stefani Germanotta.
She was born on March 28, 1986.
But she was reborn sometime in 2006 or 2007 with a new name and a new persona.
And she became what the media like to call a "phenomenon."
But she's really just a mass marketing vehicle. $he's all about the $ell. She is a purely commercial product -- a strategically constructed combination of other successful products. Her outfits, her style, her songs, her music, her stage presence and her vaulted outrageousness are all basically ripoffs.
She's a combination of Freddie Mercury, David Bowie, Michael Jackson, Queen, Britney Spears, Grace Jones, Debbie Harry, Donatella Versace, Cher, Houdini, Liberace and of course, Madonna.
There's absolutely nothing new or original about her. Nothing.
But it's been said that we live in a attention deficit age. And the truly shallow among us (and there of lots of them) needed something new to focus on.
So now, they've embraced a new Instant Heroine.A new Deviant Diva.
But it's really all a gimmick.
And yes, even her name was carefully calculated to seal the sell.
She is the creation of a media conglomerate. She is the darling of MTV and Billboard and Universal Music Group (UMG), the largest business group and family of record labels in the recording industry. And UMG itself is part of the international media giant Vivendi which has its hands in music, TV and movies, publishing, telecommunications, the Internet, and video games.
I don't have to tell your her name.
I don't have to say who she is.
Which is fine, because I don't feel like putting her name in print as it might legitimatize her.
Anyway, you all know her by now.
I just wish she would shut the hell up.